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All pictures Victoria RectorArriving in Paris just after Christmas, we were met with an overwhelming barrage of sights. Charming – yes. But also a bit… well, let’s just say the French seem to have a very different idea of Santa then we do. Red suit? Bowl of jelly? Check and Check. But there seems to be less of an emphasis on “down the chimney, lickity split!” and slightly more of an emphasis on “He sees you when you’re sleeping”…

Because he’s. Right. Out. Side. (Don’t look!)

All pictures Victoria RectorThis little guy – no bigger than a snowflake! What could there be to be afraid of?
All pictures Victoria RectorOkay – well, I mean… he’s got to get in there somehow, right? And just because his beady little elfin eyes are fixed on your bedroom is no need to…

All pictures Victoria RectorApologizing for the blurriness… But this is almost a crime scene…
All pictures Victoria RectorHOW DO YOU SLEEP with that thing staring in at you? Seriously?!
All pictures Victoria RectorOh My God they’re INVADING! This is the Seal Team of Elves!
All pictures Victoria RectorClassic SWAT maneuver – soon they’ll burst in, scattering a hail of candy cane fire. How is this NOT creepier than the Krampas?

All pictures Victoria RectorLast, but certainly not least: Full Frontal Santa. He knows you know, and he doesn’t care. You want those toys, don’t you? DON’T YOU?! Then you’ll pretend I’m not here… just act natural… I just want to watch…

All pictures Victoria RectorThe cultural divide that keeps us dancing around our eternal translations is part of the charm, I know. We have an Easter Bunny. They have a chocolate-laden Flying Roman Bell. I think we can agree that both are equally far-fetched. But Santa… I just can’t understand what they did to Santa. Maybe, deep down, it emerges from a subconscious fear of Zee Germans – St. Nicolaus could be a spy… and we’d have only ourselves to blame if we were caught unawares AGAIN! But they make these Peeping Klauses so chipper and cute. Nope, I don’t get it. I’d love to hear the reason… but until then, I just enjoy the Show. Hope you enjoyed this small part of it – totally meant in fun.

*But if any little bearded men pop up outside my window, I’m getting the broom – presents be damned!